Saturday, July 25, 2009
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Are You Overscheduled?
I a very much looking forward to Family Coach, Tim Smith, speaking to us both on Sunday morning October 12, and Sunday evening October 12 for our parenting seminar.
Here is a preview of Tim's insight:
Family Coach Tim Smith’s 15 Ways To Check If I’m Over-scheduled
Everyone needs some kind of indicator that tells them to slow down. Here is my ‘Life Speedometer’ that helps me avoid ‘speeding tickets’.
You know you are too busy when...
1. You don't seem to have time to do the things that used to put a smile on your face.
2. You can't remember the last time you heard your spouse laugh (and not at you!)
3. You can't remember where you were the last time you saw your child laugh?
4. You don't have time to read books you love.
5. You haven't had a leisurely conversation with a close friend in months.
6. You can't recall the last time you wrestled with your son on the carpet? Or played make-believe with your daughter?
7. You haven't had a meal together as a family (with no interruptions) for over a week.
8. You are out more than 3 nights a week.
9. You and your spouse haven't had a romantic getaway out of town (without the kids) for over nine months.
10. You don't have a date night at least twice a month. (No kids)
11. Your “yes’s” outnumber your “no’s.”
12. You don't know your wife's favorite perfume, or store or home decorator TV show; or your husband's favorite sports team, store or favorite TV show.
13. You spend too much money; don't have a budget and face rising credit card debt.
14. You haven't identified key values you want to develop in your family and character qualities in your children.
15. You don't have time for accountability and openness with close friends who have earned the right to ask the hard questions.
Here is a preview of Tim's insight:
Family Coach Tim Smith’s 15 Ways To Check If I’m Over-scheduled
Everyone needs some kind of indicator that tells them to slow down. Here is my ‘Life Speedometer’ that helps me avoid ‘speeding tickets’.
You know you are too busy when...
1. You don't seem to have time to do the things that used to put a smile on your face.
2. You can't remember the last time you heard your spouse laugh (and not at you!)
3. You can't remember where you were the last time you saw your child laugh?
4. You don't have time to read books you love.
5. You haven't had a leisurely conversation with a close friend in months.
6. You can't recall the last time you wrestled with your son on the carpet? Or played make-believe with your daughter?
7. You haven't had a meal together as a family (with no interruptions) for over a week.
8. You are out more than 3 nights a week.
9. You and your spouse haven't had a romantic getaway out of town (without the kids) for over nine months.
10. You don't have a date night at least twice a month. (No kids)
11. Your “yes’s” outnumber your “no’s.”
12. You don't know your wife's favorite perfume, or store or home decorator TV show; or your husband's favorite sports team, store or favorite TV show.
13. You spend too much money; don't have a budget and face rising credit card debt.
14. You haven't identified key values you want to develop in your family and character qualities in your children.
15. You don't have time for accountability and openness with close friends who have earned the right to ask the hard questions.
Saturday, August 02, 2008
Application Questions for "Being Called A Christian"
The following are some supplemental notes to my sermon on August 3, 2008, at Agoura Bible Fellowship:
In your family of origin, what were some of the unwritten unhealthy family rules that got hardwired into your brain? Here are some common ones …
1. More money is the best source of security and importance.
2. Avoid conflict at all costs; stuff your angry feelings.
3. Men can be promiscuous, but women cannot.
4. You are not allowed to be depressed; just get over it.
5. Sarcasm is the most acceptable way to release your anger.
6. Never speak of your family’s dirty laundry in public.
7. Don’t trust people; they’ll just hurt you and let you down.
8. Other cultures or races are not as good as yours.
9. Your feelings cannot be trusted, so just ignore them.
10. You must achieve and perform well in order to be loved.
What other dysfunctional family rules would you add to this list? What other kinds of unhealthy messages did you absorb from your parents and grandparents when you were growing up?
For me, doing this is painful. I don’t want to have to look back and dig up old dirt! I don’t want to have to uncover family secrets. Can’t I just be grateful to be a new creation in Christ?
The problem is, if I never consciously grieve and bury my pain from the past, it will continue to haunt me and drag me down.
Just because we grew up in a Christian home and went to church and heard thousands of sermons does not mean that deeply entrenched negative influences of our ancestry have been eradicated from our lives. For that to happen, we must be discipled in how to allow our heavenly family identity supercede our earthly family identity.
(For more insights like these, see "Emotionally Healthy Spirituality" by Peter Scazzaro)
In your family of origin, what were some of the unwritten unhealthy family rules that got hardwired into your brain? Here are some common ones …
1. More money is the best source of security and importance.
2. Avoid conflict at all costs; stuff your angry feelings.
3. Men can be promiscuous, but women cannot.
4. You are not allowed to be depressed; just get over it.
5. Sarcasm is the most acceptable way to release your anger.
6. Never speak of your family’s dirty laundry in public.
7. Don’t trust people; they’ll just hurt you and let you down.
8. Other cultures or races are not as good as yours.
9. Your feelings cannot be trusted, so just ignore them.
10. You must achieve and perform well in order to be loved.
What other dysfunctional family rules would you add to this list? What other kinds of unhealthy messages did you absorb from your parents and grandparents when you were growing up?
For me, doing this is painful. I don’t want to have to look back and dig up old dirt! I don’t want to have to uncover family secrets. Can’t I just be grateful to be a new creation in Christ?
The problem is, if I never consciously grieve and bury my pain from the past, it will continue to haunt me and drag me down.
Just because we grew up in a Christian home and went to church and heard thousands of sermons does not mean that deeply entrenched negative influences of our ancestry have been eradicated from our lives. For that to happen, we must be discipled in how to allow our heavenly family identity supercede our earthly family identity.
(For more insights like these, see "Emotionally Healthy Spirituality" by Peter Scazzaro)
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Our Daughter's Wedding - One Week Later
It's now been 172 hours since Beth and Sam's nuptials. It was a gorgeous day. Many family and friends said sincerely that it was the most beautiful wedding they'd ever attended. The bride and groom were calm and radiant -- and are now honeymooning in Hawaii.
The most surreal moment for me was the father-daughter dance. We felt all alone, secluded, oblivious to all the gawking guests and flashing photos, as "I Loved Her First" proclaimed my unique daddy status in Beth's life.
Here is a tiny sampler gallery of the event. Enjoy!
-Dale
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Oh My Aching Back
Yesterday was the big move day for Karen's mom. It was the third move in six months: Atria Hillcrest (some assisted living near Karen), then Castle Hill (larger room, less cost, but independent living), to now the last destination: OakView at University Village (brand new, very nice, and lots of care-giving).
WillaMae's health has slowly deteriorated to the point that she can no longer stand or walk without a walker, and attempts to do so can easily result in her falling to the ground. But breaking a bone is something she might not recover from -- hence, the higher level of care.
So after our Men's Breakfast on Wednesday, I got the UHaul and spent 11 hours running hard to load and unload the truck, doing the final packing along the way with some help from our Home Bible Fellowship group and a couple friends from our previous church, and Sam (my nearly son-in-law). (Thanks you all!)
So this morning, I hurt. Cramped back muscle. Tender arm tendons. Yet wedding plans march along, while setting up her TV and phone are on tonight's agenda. Pray for me to find joy in the tiredness of serving my mother in law -- and for her health to rally in her new environment.
- Dale
WillaMae's health has slowly deteriorated to the point that she can no longer stand or walk without a walker, and attempts to do so can easily result in her falling to the ground. But breaking a bone is something she might not recover from -- hence, the higher level of care.
So after our Men's Breakfast on Wednesday, I got the UHaul and spent 11 hours running hard to load and unload the truck, doing the final packing along the way with some help from our Home Bible Fellowship group and a couple friends from our previous church, and Sam (my nearly son-in-law). (Thanks you all!)
So this morning, I hurt. Cramped back muscle. Tender arm tendons. Yet wedding plans march along, while setting up her TV and phone are on tonight's agenda. Pray for me to find joy in the tiredness of serving my mother in law -- and for her health to rally in her new environment.
- Dale